2023 Author: Jessica James | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 03:31
Katya Portnyagina (kaite_ya) is the founder of Club 500 women, the wife of Dmitry Portnyagin, a famous Russian entrepreneur and business blogger number 1 in the Russian-language YouTube. In the summer, Katya published the book "Wife" - about how to be married, while remaining a self-sufficient, strong and strong-willed person. Ekaterina wrote the book without looking at trends - there is a minimum of feminism, but a maximum of sincerity and recognition, which in the 21st century is not ashamed (and even beneficial) to be weak next to a strong man.
Katya Portnyagina
It is possible that with these words I can incur the wrath of feminists, but it makes no sense for a woman to fight a man. At least compete in which of the two of you has the most egg. Men, in principle, dislike such competitions with the opposite sex, especially with their women. Because in male society, they constantly, every day prove to each other who is stronger, smarter and more important here. Coming home, a man wants to rest and gain strength, and not re-enter the ring. Instead, he is met not by a loving woman, but by some daring gopnik in a skirt who is trying to push him, bend him over, prove his coolness to him. Sometimes this goes beyond the boundaries of ethics, and humiliation, painful jabs and jokes are already in progress.
Some women think that this is how they establish themselves in the male world, speaking with men in their language. I am sincerely sorry for such people. And even more I feel sorry for their partners and husbands. Men can be very tough with each other in their society, but they shouldn't be that way with their women. They understand that a different approach is required here - the woman is weaker, and therefore it is necessary to treat her feelings with great attention and delicacy. And I'm not even talking about the fact that a man can weigh a presumptuous rude man in the jaw, but if this rudeness flies from a woman's lips, then here he may be powerless. And some women, who are very insecure of themselves, use this precisely, essentially replacing the concept - no, it was not you who defeated him, but he simply does not want to mess with you, turns around and silently leaves. And sometimes it goes away forever.
When we meet our man not with a smile and care, but in full combat attire, ready for a duel and rivalry, no matter how much he loves you, he will definitely find another who will be gentle and kind to him. He can leave the family or have a mistress, with whom he will find what you refuse him. Yes, at work you can be a steel lady, but don't drag it into the house. A woman's strength lies in something else. Sometimes there is much more strength in meekness and the ability to embrace in time. In addition, all these family battles drain both of them. And if a man does not leave, then he will certainly become weak in the eyes of a woman at some point. And then she will leave him, having previously broken it. And what is the constructive in this? Maybe, instead of complaining about the fact that men went weak and not bad, we should first remember ourselves,that a woman should not compete and compete with them in everything? After all, they are interested in us precisely for our weakness, albeit imaginary, precisely for the ability to take care of us and protect us. But not the opportunity to have a permanent sparring partner in our person.
Many women write to me on Instagram: "Ekaterina, you are so wise!" etc. But I've never been wise! And in many things I am not so now. Another thing is that I can quickly learn lessons: assess the situation and draw conclusions, what can be done and what is not worth doing.
My first hard lesson: you can never publicly humiliate or insult your man (and, if possible, not allow others to do it).
The second lesson: you just need to accustom yourself to completely abandon the fight from scratch. You don't have to be Porthos: "I just fight because I fight."
And the third lesson, perhaps the most important one, is about the importance and need for support. The greatest feminine strength and our most valuable skill is to give energy to our man. Give the desire to be better and achieve more. The ability to instill self-confidence. Yes, our men often work as if they were running, give all the best and come home with a blinking red battery charge. Not only on the phone, but also inside. And our task is to charge this battery and not let it burn out.
A woman should remain a woman, even if only one man sees it, who needs not just a lover, but a friend and life partner. After all, "partner" is not only about business.
I completely share the scheme of life priorities for a woman. In the first place for her is a man. On the second, oddly enough it may sound, she herself. And only on the third - children. At first glance, it sounds almost blasphemous, but let's figure it out.
A man is in the first place not because you are all so weak, you bend over and please him in everything. But if you treat your man like a king and let him know, then you yourself will be the queen. Fondled by his care and attention. A man extremely appreciates when his external dominant position, which has developed over the millennia of human society, is not questioned at least within the family. And we are not talking about servility and admiration. No, it should be perceived precisely from the position “you are my king, I am your queen”. A man himself is drawn to a woman, next to whom he can feel strong. And in modern society, alas, there are big problems with this.
It only seems that we live in a world built by men for men themselves. Representatives of the stronger sex constantly experience a colossal psychological load: a man should do this, a man should do this, boys do not cry, a man is always strong. This pressure forms the very structure of modern society.
So what does it cost a woman to give a man the opportunity to feel the strength and leadership in the family? I'm talking about the strength of a man that does not destroy, but creates. And this power is easy to give him. The main thing is to do it voluntarily, simply by allowing him to be himself. It is important not to remake it to fit your own patterns. I believe that the softest and most reliable way to keep a man close is to give him a lost sense of significance and strength for free.
