2023 Author: Jessica James | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 03:31
There can be many reasons and attitudes leading to overeating, and the problem is not at all in you! Together with psychologist and certified gestalt therapist Alina Bugrim (@psychologist_alina_bugrim), we looked at the main reasons why we eat stress.
You worry, you worry - you have to eat
One of the reasons for being overweight is stress. You are worried, worried - you need to eat. Why is this happening and how to deal with it?
Our body has two autonomic systems: sympathetic and parasympathetic. The first is responsible for states of stress and tension. A condition close to that of the ancestors when, for example, a mammoth running towards. In the modern world, "mammoth" is stressful situations with work, money, society and, of course, real dangers.
The parasympathetic system is a state of "fuh, managed to escape from the mammoth", when you can allow yourself to relax and eat something. And here, of course, the gastrointestinal tract is activated. In a state of rest, we are able to calmly digest food.
These departments are antagonists, that is, they only work in turns.
Being in constant tension, experiencing anxiety and stress, the sympathetic system keeps us in hypertonicity. The state is not a pleasant one: remember the impending hairy mammoth. But, as soon as you eat something, the food affects the receptors of the parasympathetic nervous system - tension, anxiety, stress are replaced by relaxation. At this moment, overeating occurs. We perceive food as a sedative, a kind of tranquilizer. We eat more calories than our body needs, and, as a result, we get extra pounds and plus two sizes.
I think you have noticed that nighttime "chokes" appear from insomnia. This is direct evidence of inner tension, anxiety, and stress.
And what to do with overeating that spoils the figure?
Conduct a quick diagnosis by asking the question: "Is my body really hungry or am I eating to calm down and stop thinking about something?" If you notice that you are not hungry, but want to “eat into your head,” that is, to seize some feelings, remove internal stress, you just need to keep a list at hand, even in your phone's notes, with all possible actions that can cause pleasure. Such methods should evoke vivid emotions in you: reading books, hugging, swimming pool, fresh air, communication, massage, something that will make you breathe deeply! Each person has their own list. This is what will give a person contact with the world. And in finding a way to avoid stress, replace food.
Food will give me a sense of security and love
There is one more non-obvious setting. I'll tell you about the example of my client.
The girl is very active, she goes in for sports and dancing. Loves and knows how to cook, and more often it is healthy food. She has many friends and a good promising job. It would seem that everything is perfect. But she was not satisfied with the extra pounds. They really were. Moreover, the girl had been overweight all her life and had a dream to lose weight. I thought that I would start studying at university, fall in love, and the weight would go away by itself. But there was both study and love, but the kilograms did not go away and drove her to despair. Now that she has achieved career success, this problem has become even more pronounced. Because that's the only thing that needed fixing. And the matter lay in psychosomatics. Subsequently, therapy turned out that the client had a need for protection and a lack of love. Since childhood, she had a sense of insecurity: the family constantly had quarrels, scandals and even fights between parents. There was no one who would explain to a little girl then that this was not the norm, there are also happy relationships.
Her body was protected by extra pounds. No protection - there is a shield in the form of fat. This is the first reason.
When a child feels rejected, then, as an adult, he tries to satisfy the need for love in different ways, including cake. This was the second reason. After realizing the reasons and attitudes, she managed to relax: there is a background, it gives confidence in the future; close relatives, they will prompt and help; there is a young man, he loves and supports her. She realized that there was no danger, there was no need to defend herself, and the kilograms began to go away.
I constantly feel guilty when I eat
One of my clients said: “It's as if the wine is eating me up. I understand that one portion of pasta will not change anything, but some kind of numbness does not let go. As if the body will respond to me by storing excess fat. And I'm starving. But when dizziness begins, I understand that I need to refresh myself, otherwise I will faint. As a result, I eat up and become even fatter.
“You see, I am ashamed of what I eat. And I do not judge others. It seems that dinner for all the people around me is so natural. Not for me!"
It may seem that the girl has serious problems with being overweight, but this is not the case. A few extra pounds appeared precisely because of an unbalanced diet and wrong mindsets.
I don't love my body
Another client of mine, before giving birth, followed the figure like a diamond. Scrubs, massages, body wraps, and God forbid an extra fold would appear. It was important for her not only to be well-groomed and to like someone, but to feel healthy and fit. The girl told how she examined the skin after a shower, lovingly applied moisturizer to every centimeter of her body. Then there was childbirth. This is an incredible time for any woman, the world around is changing, and with it priorities. Now the child is in charge. But a month passed after the birth of the baby, and she realized that her figure had changed. At the consultation, I found out that it is precisely dislike in my condition that is the root of the problems of excess weight. The young mother first of all saw all the shortcomings, and the body was "protected" from her by being overweight. Moreover, such an attitude towards the body does not make it possible to feel its needs:overwork can be confused with hunger, you don't know when the body is full, and that's why you overeat.
Contempt for female nature
“I don’t love my body because I’m afraid to be sexy?” - my client wondered.
A girl came to me a year ago with a problem of overeating. And her case was just the one when the problem comes from childhood. I did not immediately understand what the reason was. She began to analyze, going deeper and deeper into her life. The topic is actually very complex and painful. As a little girl, she got a lot from her father. He could get terribly drunk, quarrel, scream, and in this state it seemed to him that all her outfits were too revealing. Accordingly, a little girl, even in childhood, concluded: you cannot dress beautifully, otherwise you can get it for it. You can't have a beautiful figure either - it's indecent, dirty. The same feeling about their body is developed in women who have been sexually abused.
Subconsciously, the body "turns on protection": to become unattractive so that men would not pay attention. The brain sees potential danger in men. And the body is constantly gaining weight. Many problems come from childhood, from the head, but sometimes it is difficult for a person to understand such things himself. Therefore, do not be afraid to contact specialists.