The Art Of Indifference: How To Survive On Maternity Leave, And Then Combine Work And Family

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Video: The Art Of Indifference: How To Survive On Maternity Leave, And Then Combine Work And Family

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Video: How to Survive on MATERNITY Pay | Statutory maternity pay 2023, February
The Art Of Indifference: How To Survive On Maternity Leave, And Then Combine Work And Family
The Art Of Indifference: How To Survive On Maternity Leave, And Then Combine Work And Family
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BeautyHack editor Yulia Kozoliy discusses why cleaning on weekends is not the best idea and what to do if you just barely fit into the world of ideal moms. Seven tips on how to organize your life, not screw up at work, and be your child's best friend.

Make a detailed plan for the day and praise yourself for all the redone tasks

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Do you want to know one of the main tips that psychologists give mothers on maternity leave? Start a daily planner and add all your affairs to it every day. And as you complete them, put a cross or a tick in front of them - "done"! Mothers, whose lives revolve around a one and a half month old baby, now chuckled: they say, it's very funny, tomorrow I will write something like “prepare the mixture” and “load the washing machine”, and in the evening I will praise myself. Try it! Seriously! Surely among those who read this article, there are mothers who, spending 24 hours with the baby, do not feel completeness, usefulness, suffer from the inability to realize themselves, or even just exhale for an hour. So, the diary will definitely help you with this: 1) you will see how much (no, no, WHAT) amount of work you manage to redo during the day; 2) when scheduling a week, you will find gaps,which you can fill with your personal affairs. If, in addition to everything described above, there is also work in your life (at home or in the office), the diary will help you not to go crazy and plan your days clearly, and you will also set priorities and refuse unnecessary worries with firm confidence.

Delegate homework if you can't keep up

By the way, about unnecessary worries … In my life there are mothers who sincerely love to do household chores. They say: “On Saturday morning I wake up and spend a couple of hours cleaning, dancing to the music. I also wipe down the plumbing every time I wash or shower. " Mothers, you are wonderful, I adore you and I am ready to sing your praises, but I sincerely admit that I seem to have been molded from a different dough. When there are several jobs in your life and a child with gardening and school concerns, you naturally don't dance with a vacuum cleaner on Saturday. No, of course, you can force yourself, and then break loose on all family members, as if for other reasons. Or you can just let go of the situation by telling yourself that cleaning is not your responsibility. It can be made by another person, while you, for example, have breakfast with the whole family with the most delicious cheesecakes in the city.

And please don't beat your child up for the mess in the room. Tell him how pleasant it should be to be in a clean room. And let him make the choice on his own.

Do not strive for perfection: order food home, and disposable dishes have not killed anyone yet

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It's great to be able to multitask at work, and then come home, be the perfect mom and make a menu for the week ahead, where there will certainly be dishes from unique ingredients. It's great to be such a mom somewhere on Instagram. We have a real 8-hour working day with you, a house where toys can be scattered (and this is ok), a dog (perhaps) that needs to be walked, and a child who will be happy with dumplings with cherries from the store, but will not be happy annoyed mom. This skill demanded a thorough study from me, but ultimately I got rid of the syndrome of "ideal life", which means that I started: 1) ordering food home if I just did not want to cook; 2) feed my daughter with cottage cheese for dinner, and not this all clever; 3) leave the kitchen if the husband says that he needs to leave and he will prepare everything himself;4) have dinner in the city with my family on a weekday, if I just want to clear my head and don’t want household chores. Working!

Answer work questions during work hours

Being a hyper-responsible counter-freak is scary, I tell you from my own experience. So much so that one of the evenings you can receive such a message from the manager: “Julia, if I send something in the evening, it is not necessary to answer it at the same second. It can wait until tomorrow. " It took six months to realize that I was doing something wrong: “I want what's best. Why doesn't it work? " In fact, if you are constantly distracted by tasks in your free time, burnout will occur both at work and at home. You will quickly get tired of the first one, and the family will simply stop accepting your professional zeal.

Date your own kids and combine your hobbies

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First, it's great to go out with the whole family! And secondly, it is equally great to share and spend time with children according to interests. Here are a couple of examples: the husband goes with his daughter to the puppet theater, I devote time to work; I want to go to yoga, but there is no one to leave my daughter with, then we go together, she works in a children's group, I (at the same time) in an adult; the same can be done with the pool. And we also have a pleasant tradition: Ulyana goes to donate blood from a finger to the same place in the city, and every time afterwards we go to eat pancakes in her favorite cafe - pancakes, for my taste, are mediocre, and the mood of both is amazing …

Take a full vacation without a computer and phone whenever possible

A person who almost took a computer on an upcoming trip says to you, thinking: "Well, is this work: half an hour in the morning and half an hour in the evening?" Yes, this is a job and it will work without you! And you don't need burnout, stress, family conflicts. Needless to say, the time spent simultaneously with the child and the phone is considered to be of poor quality in a decent “mother's” society.

Practice meditation

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Here's the thing: under the word "meditation" people who know have long ceased to mean astral practices. At a speech at the World Economic Forum, psychotherapist Andrei Kurpatov gave disappointing predictions: we can no longer put off the phone for more than 15 minutes and are faced with an epidemic of digital autism. This means that gadgets affect our ability to think adequately, and also wean us from live communication. It is still possible to correct the situation. And one way is meditation. Just sit in silence for more than 20 minutes, put your phone aside, breathe properly and feel your body.

Wake up and go to bed at the same time

Your brain will function normally asleep and wakeful, and you will fall asleep faster and sleep soundly at night. Gadgets (like a smart alarm clock) or a banal sleep mask (we in the editorial office love masks from Elena Krygina) can help in this. Another plus of the regime - in the morning you will be much more productive (I advise you to read more about this in the book "Magic of the Morning").

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