Girls Are Like Ladies: Why Daughters Are Not Dolls For Mothers

Video: Girls Are Like Ladies: Why Daughters Are Not Dolls For Mothers

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Girls Are Like Ladies: Why Daughters Are Not Dolls For Mothers
Girls Are Like Ladies: Why Daughters Are Not Dolls For Mothers
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Alexey Belyakov, father of three and BeautyHack columnist, talks about how mothers turn their daughters into dolls and what the threat is.

These girls can be seen everywhere - in parks, in cafes, just on the street. They are between two and seven. Like ordinary girls. But they are dressed up and curled so that bad thoughts creep in: where are their mothers preparing them? And mothers just think: it's beautiful. Dress up your daughter in an adult way, almost in the neckline, make curls, as for the red carpet, and tint eyelashes. "Let everyone admire!"

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This is, of course, ATAS. When a girl is turned into a lady. This can only be pictured by the imagination of a pervert who would be better off sitting in strict isolation. But no, mothers themselves do it with their own hands. If you ask what she thinks to herself, the mother will confidently answer: "I want to raise a princess!"

Maman, you need to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist in general. Probably, maman, you had an unhappy poor childhood, tattered tights and one dress for going out, and now you decided to win back on your daughter. "All the best for my baby!" Commendable, maman, but don't go crazy. Don't make your daughter a pervert dream. To this maman will definitely answer: "My daughter likes everything!" It is already worth more here.

My eldest daughter has always been indifferent to bright dresses, cosmetics and all kinds of sequins. She is soon 17, but she still has not once painted. She dresses well, gracefully, but no ruffles and "mimiches". But the youngest, Kira, is a completely different story. She adores ballerinas, pink color, fluffy skirts. Cartoons are watched only by those with cute princesses. Kira is only four, but she is already worried about cosmetics and manicure. And that's okay for girls, ninety percent.

But girls don't dream of a Prada neckline and clutch. They have completely different dreams.

Kira wants to be a princess herself. But Kira has a very sensible mother. Fluffy skirts? For God's sake. Then there is a cool T-shirt on top, funny leggings and sneakers under the skirt. Kira is happy: like a princess, but rock-n-roll. Sometimes, of course, she wants to become a real princess, like Elsa from "Frozen". No problem. For this occasion, there is a real "princess" dress, blue, with a train. However, the dress has its limitations. Kira is in it only at home or at a party, the streets and cafes do not walk. The girl can always be explained that not every outfit is for the street. Do not itch, do not swear, but explain in the game. A princess is a refined creature. She shouldn't have a train on the sidewalk. And the daughter will easily accept it. Especially if the princess plays enough at home. I am not at all against the role of a page, for example. Or even fairies, though unshaven.

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Kira is obsessed with eyelashes. When she paints her princesses, the main thing is to portray more authentic cilia. Kira told me that she really wants to paint her own. But here the elder sister's experience came in handy. I ask: "Does Asya have beautiful eyes?" - "Yes, beautiful." - "But she never paints them!" Kira was very surprised. I thought and said: "I also have long and beautiful eyelashes, why should I dye them?" So we easily solved this problem.

With cosmetics and manicure a little more complicated. She sees how her mother puts on makeup for work. Once Kira and I spent a whole evening in beauty talks. She told how she likes red nail polish and lipstick. I agreed: I love it all myself. A father should generally talk to his daughter about such things. Don't brush it off: here's nonsense, it's too early for you to talk about it! Not early. Dad - he is the first gentleman in his daughter's life. I must admire her and chat about everything that worries.

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And if the daughter really wants to paint her lips and nails - so be it. In this case, it was not someone who gave me advice, but Monica Bellucci herself. We once talked with her about the problems of raising a daughter. Her youngest, Leonie, was just four at the time. And she loved to watch her mother put on makeup, begged her to make up a little. Monica brushed Leonie's lips with lipstick. She showed off in front of the mirror, was very pleased. “And now we have to erase, we go to class,” - said Monica. My daughter did not argue. She has already received the desired effect, what else?

This line is important. Between a home game and going out. What is allowed at home is not allowed in public space. Children understand this easily. And they accept.

I have never heard of five-year-old daughters throwing a tantrum and demanding: "I'm only visiting with lipstick!" I have never seen daughters demanding a neckline for a children's party. All this nonsense is in the heads of mothers. In their bad taste and false aesthetics.

But there's a problem. Everything can be explained to a little girl, but not always to her entertainer-mother. She sincerely considers it beautiful and correct. And try to argue with her: she will howl like a witch. Will arrange a terrible fairy tale for everyone!

For fathers: 8 rules for raising a Lady

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