But the singer Cindy Lauper was right when she sang the song "when the working day is over, the girls just want to have fun." According to the results of international research, frequent regular meetings with friends are essential for our psychological and even physical well-being. We asked the practicing psychologist Tatiana Ogneva-Salvoni to sort out the reasons why this is so.
Without meeting with friends, women's life dims and is filled with sorrow. Women are so arranged that we need to exchange energy with other women, support someone and feel support, discuss our life, laugh and just sometimes sit together in silence, breathe the air of being. But it was not there! Sociologists have found that only two out of five women in the world manage to find time at all for an aperitif and chatting with friends.
“Friendship is a very underestimated life resource,” Dr. Karen Roberto, director of the Virginia Institute for Society, Culture and the Environment, once told the New York Times. And Dr. Robin Dunbar of Oxford University, emeritus professor of evolutionary psychology and author of research on the socialization of women, added: “Meeting four friends a week is just a basic need for a woman’s psyche to communicate. This is the foundation of the psychological and physical well-being and health of a modern woman!"
Once upon a time, women really spent a lot of time with each other, they were always in contact with the rest. Together they were engaged in collecting, raising children, sewing, knitting, gossiping and so on. And in our age of individualization, such numbers seem almost fantastic. Here are five scientifically proven benefits from girlfriend therapy.
1. It is the perfect anti-stress
The more contacts and interactions a woman has with other people, the more stress-resistant she is. She seems to be pumping her reaction skill. And here's what the University of California study found (check out the wording, then talk to your friends): Women's behavioral repertoire in response to stress is broader than men's. Men respond to stress through ancestral survival mechanisms - fight or flight. And sociable women also have in their arsenal a method of releasing oxytocin, a hormone that reduces stress and has a calming effect. In addition, this mechanism is enhanced by estrogen and accelerated in relationships with girlfriends.
“Women are a great source of support and mutual help,” writes Rutellen Josselson, co-author of Best Friends: The Pleasures and Dangers of Friendship in Girls and Women.
- Women need a space where they can communicate and enjoy the freedom that they have only in the circle of other women. This is an experience of well-being, which cannot be abandoned and which is transferred to other areas, keeping the woman afloat.
2. Increases life expectancy
In a literal sense, a person lives longer if he has more social connections. This was proved by Dr. Laura Cousin Klein and Shelley Taylor, who conducted research at Ucla. They found that maintaining quality social relationships with friends, people with whom you are on the same page, in general, lowers blood pressure, heart rate and cholesterol levels. In addition, friendship between women helps women themselves better know themselves, define their true desires, fill in the emotional gaps in family life. Chatting with girlfriends has a truly therapeutic effect. And that is not all.
“People with a wider network of social contacts get sick less, recover faster from surgeries and have a higher life expectancy, which also affects their children,” said Professor Robin Dunbar.
3. Helps in work
These are just numbers, but also impressive. 45% of people looking for a new job rely on socializing with friends. And according to researchers at Glassdoor, this channel really attracts 70% of recruiters who understand the importance of friendship among their employees. Because people tend to choose those who are like them. So communication with friends expands professional horizons.
4. Improves the quality of sex in couples
It would seem, where are friends and girlfriends. But a team of American researchers have found that friendship improves the quality of a couple's sex life.
More than 70% of those who often spend time with their friends note that it is friendship and friendly support that gives a greater sense of confidence and attractiveness, which makes a woman feel more confident with her husband.
5. More awareness
A woman thinks and starts the process of awareness at the moment of speaking, while a man just needs to be silent for these cognitive processes. And if a woman is silent, if she has no one to discuss her current affairs, her purchases, her desires and her actions with, then soon she begins to commit many rash acts, do some stupid things, buy the wrong thing, and in general, a lot goes to hell. You can also talk to your husband, or chat on social networks. But this is not a complete communication. In addition, the specifics of women's conversations, for example, about which blouse is better to wear to this skirt, which vacuum cleaner to choose, which newest cleaning system exists, and which circle for a child, etc., can only be endured by another woman. Something can be discussed with the husband, but in many female moments, the male brain simply freezes and merges.So female friendship is also a factor in the survival and safety of the female psyche.
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