Breaking Is Not Building: Famous Psychologists About Relationships

Why does Eric Berne consider unrequited love a trick of the ego, why is it necessary to learn to be alone before building a harmonious relationship, and how to find the right approach to a man? BeautyHack has collected the best quotes about relationships. Careful, they can change your life!

Eric Byrne. American psychiatrist. Scenario Analysis Developer

“Irresponsible love is a trick of the ego. If you love humanity, but cannot enter the position of real cats and chickens, you love from your container. The responsibility of love is a real understanding. This is when you managed to get out of the bag of your love and screw yourself into the real world of love. If you're woozy, your radiant smile is nothing more than a toothpaste advertisement. You need to get inside in order to see and love what really is there - that's what is beautiful. What you do after bed counts.”

“Most human relationships are based on deceptions and tricks, sometimes funny and funny, sometimes low and vicious. Only a lucky few, such as mothers and babies, true friends and lovers, are completely sincere with each other."

Mikhail Labkovsky. Psychologist. Author of the book "I want and will be"

“You need to learn to be alone in order to become a self-sufficient person, to be alone and enjoy it. You need to turn to a psychologist and get rid of that childhood trauma from which you are now suffering. When you were little, you lacked communication with your parents. You brought this trauma into adulthood and now you need relationships for the sake of relationships. The fact is that those children who have had enough relationships with their parents in adult life understand that relationships take some place, but they treat them without fanaticism."

“The most important thing in a long-term relationship is a stable psyche. If a person cannot boast of it, then he loves you today, but not tomorrow. After all, he is emotionally uneven, his tastes, views, preferences are constantly changing."

“Compromises are the reason for going to an oncologist and a radiologist. Concessions are compromises when you agree to something that is unpleasant for you because of the fear of losing the relationship. In reality, due to the fact that you are calm and balanced people with a stable psyche, you can love each other all your life. And there are people who are madly in love, and after half an hour they are no longer in love - the more exaltation, the so-called, in the beginning, the worse it will be further. When a person says to me: “I am terribly in love,” do you know what is the key word? "Scary". I understand that he is inadequate, because he uses the word "scary" with the word "love." This is not hyperemotionality, he is a potential psycho."

John Gray. Author of the book "Man from Mars, Woman from Venus"

“Whoever is next to you, remember: this person is not perfect and never will be. None of us will expect from our other half only the most, most positive emotions and constant, absolute, unconditional understanding - this is a gross mistake. The price paid for her is disappointment and loneliness. You, especially if you are an inveterate egoist, need to learn how to disinterestedly make your spiritual, spiritual and intellectual contribution to your relationship with your loved one."

“There is a fairly simple way to overcome psychological barriers and build great relationships with your significant other. It consists in taking responsibility for your feeling of happiness and fulfillment on yourself and never shifting it onto anyone else."

Read the myths about the relationship between a man and a woman here.

“When we (both women and men) stop pinning too high, unrealistic hopes on each other, mistakes in relationships will become like ripples, slightly disturbing the ocean surface. It is an ocean of love, respect, understanding, care and trust. If a loved one sometimes annoys you with something, there is nothing strange and terrible about it."

“If we show love and forgive others for their mistakes, it does not mean that we allow our trust and kindness to be abused. This means that, firstly, we give up the desire to inflict a painful retaliatory blow on the one who stumbled, and secondly, together we correct the situation and finally achieve a mutually beneficial result."

Harvey Steve. Author of the best-selling book "Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man"

"Instead of wasting time and energy on a man who simply does not want and cannot live up to your expectations, let him go."

“Men are very simple, calculable people; if you tell us what you love and what you don’t like, we will do everything to meet your expectations, especially if we want to strengthen our relationship with you.”

“Gratitude to a man, rather than undermining his self-confidence, is the best way to get the best out of your boyfriend. And the best way to thank him is to be wanted and let him be a man."

“Devotion is our understanding of love. For a man, loyalty and love are one and the same. The love you demand is beautiful, but our love is not like yours. It is different, although it remains love. And the love of a man is a very powerful thing. Amazing. If your loyalty is true and undeniable, a man will indeed kill anyone for you. With no doubt".

Read why some men are unpleasant to remember here.