Each of us has our own graveyard of unfulfilled desires. Sometimes they rise from the ashes, provoking to spew anger at others and forcing their children to do what they would not want at all: become ballerinas instead of doctors, kill joints in hockey training instead of writing poetry, study to be diplomats instead of raising agriculture … But this is not the worst thing. Our desires, turned into periodically reviving corpses, make us unhappy. And the reason for this appeal is the same - the comfort zone. And this is a very voracious lady. The comfort zone eats off schedule, devouring dreams big and small. But you can and should fight it. I share my experience.
Do you remember the saying about the titmouse and the crane? She is very much loved in the post-Soviet space. And it reflects our reality in the best possible way: the majority, having caught a titmouse, stop hunting for cranes, thereby not closing their gestalt. These very tits are the comfort zone. From the point of view of psychology, this concept means an area of living space in which a person feels cozy, comfortable and safe. Such internal frameworks act as a constraining factor in achieving goals.
Let me give you an example. A girl with an average financial income almost never goes to an elite boutique where one dress costs almost as much as her car. This place is outside of her comfort zone, in a risk zone, a zone of stress and potential danger. No, the girl would really like to wear such a dress, but the inner "tit" says that it is not for her. But she could cross the line, touch, touch, really want to and set a goal. Do you understand what I mean?
The comfort zone is a very scary thing. She forces women to live with unloved husbands, go to unloved jobs, and wear unloved dresses. Having lingered in it for a long time, a person stops developing and begins to degrade.
It was once so with me. I lived in a very unsuccessful marriage, outside of which there was emptiness. I was scared to be alone at the age of 27, it was scary to start my life anew, building my own cozy and comfortable world. Since time, fear has been replaced by curiosity and interest. Endless “What if…” gave way to “Time to act”. I'll tell you how I did it.
Step # 1: step out of your comfort zone every day
There are many ways to do this. Start small - just rearrange the toothbrush holder. At first, out of habit, you will look for it where it stood for 10 years. And then you will get used to it. And this will be a reason to find her a new place again.
Step # 2: find motivation
I know it sounds corny. But without motivation, there is no action. Just don't limit your flight of imagination. Let her go above the clouds - let her soar in unknown worlds and work for good. Wish cards are bland. But they must be accompanied by cards of actions. Dream about a car, just remember to plan how you get it. Even Nietzsche wrote: “If a person has a“why”to live, he can withstand any“how”. Repeat this like a mantra and you will succeed.
Step # 3: do what you fear every day
If you are afraid of your boss, make it a rule to find the strength and ask him at least one question every day. Of course, in the case. Otherwise, you risk falling into disgrace and finding the glory of a person who speaks a lot and does little.
Step # 4: Determine What's Beyond Your Comfort Zone
In working on yourself, this should be the number one priority. Stay alone with yourself and understand what actions are outside your comfort zone. Then make a list. And every day take a small step towards your discomfort - towards your "enemy".
Step # 5: be honest with yourself
“Now is not the right time” is the most common excuse. I have some disappointing news: there will be no right time. You can always find a reason not to take a step towards something new. Sitting and waiting for the stars to converge is not an option. Give yourself a chance to move forward and you will succeed.
Step # 6: make yourself an awkward Thursday
Or Friday, or any other day of the week, when you will be doing things that are uncomfortable for yourself: calling debtors, doing work that you don't like, and “eating” other frogs. Think of a reward for obedience and exemplary behavior, punishment for violation.
Step # 7: read
For many, reading is the best motivator. There is plenty of literature on the comfort zone. My Choices: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone by Brian Tracy, Magic of the Morning by Hal Elrod, Life Without Borders by Nick Vujicic.