How Wrong It Is To Raise Children And Raise Them Happy

Especially for BeautyHack, the author of fairy tales, journalist and wonderful mother of her 13-year-old daughter wrote a column that the main rule in motherhood is to break all the rules.

Anna Gerasimenko

children's writer, journalist

I have never been able to raise my child. Many times I read the statements and some wise advice from other parents. They seemed to clearly know how to raise a new person. How to feed, with what voice and with what words to speak, explain, what time to go to bed, how to do homework. Which institute to arrange. And I've never been able to do this.

My daughter chose me as a mother and felt all my attempts to learn. After all, I got it in my hands and did not understand a thing. What to do with her?

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I wanted to be anxious, to control every breath. And I also wanted to be able to do everything, like good mothers … Only I had no idea: what are they, good?

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As a result, we somehow learned everything together. But not by the rules.

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Parents have some general laws - to feed, teach, educate. So that the child grows up clean, kind, good, shares, does not be greedy, does not contradict. Five - it is important that the institute is a must, the work is good - so that you can calmly, get married, have children, and then you can exhale and go to a sanatorium.

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I sometimes realize that I am going after all this "must", terribly resisting.

I do not want to necessarily have fives, let them walk more.

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I do not force you to continue dancing if you stop liking dancing. Tired of dancing - go draw. The main thing is to like it! There is only one life.

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I never forced to eat. You don’t want to don’t eat. If you want strawberries for lunch, come on. If you don't like soup, don't.

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I didn't force you to share. Why should a child give what is dear to him ??? It doesn't matter why it's expensive. It is his.

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I ask, what do you want, what will you be, what and where will you go? Even if she put on the incompatible and went for a walk in the heat in rubber boots. I think, even if she is wrong, she learns to choose herself.

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I don’t think about the gold medal, for me school is where the child comes from, telling with interest about Yaropolk, and our whole family laughs over Vsevolod the Big Nest.

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I allow you to dye your hair green and pierce many holes in your ears. They condemn me. But I will also allow a tattoo to be done, if necessary, but only from a good master.

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I am a very lazy mother, and I do not help with lessons. I rarely help, very rarely. She's smart herself. And this is her responsibility. Why am I going to do it for her? How does she learn?

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I am an introverted mother and sometimes I ask you to leave me in silence.

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I can get to the bottom of trifles when I'm in the mood to get it. And I honestly admit: do not come, the mood is to fly on a broomstick and be devilishly malicious.

And I let her - dare me, disagree, fly on a broomstick and devilishly malice. Because she is human.

I don't pick up the phone, although I know she stares at it for hours. I'm staring too. Harmful. Yes.

I do not force you to read books. I know that good mothers teach reading. Haggled and manipulated for the future welfare and intelligence of the child. And I don't have the strength to do it. I'd rather read it out loud. Yes, even in 7th grade. If necessary, then at the institute.

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I do not think of the institute as the main thing. If he wants to go to Australia to save the kangaroo, he will start an iguana instead of children and a husband, let him. This is her happiness!

They condemn me.

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I break everything all the time, I make a hundred mistakes that good mothers would not make. She will soon receive a passport, but I still do not know how to bring up children, and in which institute to arrange.

But I really love. And I try to trust her. She knows a lot better than me.

Being a mother is nervous, too much depends on you. Everything depends on you! And there are no rules. I do not have.

Probably the right thing to do is to be yourself and feel. Every second. There are no rules. It won't work perfectly. You will still be to blame for everything.

Happiness to you, mothers!