How To Do Everything: 8 Effective Tips For Moms

Yulia Kozoliy - BeautyHack editor and mother of 5-year-old Ulyana - about her experience of working full-time with a small child and simple things that help to survive in time trouble.

Happy mom - happy baby

Of all the common truths that supposedly should work for all parents, I believe in only one: a happy mom is a happy baby (and dad at the same time). In the first months of motherhood, it is important to understand what “happiness” specifically means to you: to be always close to your baby, immerse yourself in household chores, continue to work, find a nanny, not be afraid to rely on grandparents and be able to breathe out during a massage or dinner with friends. It seems to me that many girls in the first months of motherhood are sucked in by the household routine, and this is the whole trouble.

As psychologist Larisa Surkova said, if you understand that washing dishes makes you mad, use a disposable one today. If you don't have time to get out, call a cleaning service. This is normal! The following point follows from this story, which has always helped and continues to help me to be effective and not get bogged down in a routine.

Have a free minute? Do a small but important thing for you

I chose the following path for myself: fill every free minute with things! In the morning Ulyana woke me up at six, and at seven fell asleep again - there is time to paint my nails or watch a movie that everyone is talking about. Didn't your daughter want to sleep in the nursery? We made repairs on the balcony and put a cradle there - this grandmother's method really works! For three hours of infant daytime sleep, you can iron, work, cook dinner (well, wash your hair, who did not have time before). And while walking you can read, and not stand on the playgrounds with a stroller (their time will come).

Plan everything

Ulyana goes to the garden, and I go to work in the office. So we have a schedule, which is great. Since the birth of the baby, I try to plan everything. Even if the brightest event of the day is a visit to the doctor, schedule it. Let you have a sense of order in your head! Of course, there are force majeure events, illnesses, deadlines, but planning really helps not to get lost at the right time. Indeed, most often it happens that a question that you postponed a week ago was resolved in half an hour.

Ulyana and I go for a manicure together (I choose the most comfortable places where she will have something to do), we travel together (and I love to go somewhere for a couple of days with my friends - this is a real reboot), we plan her mugs so that mom and dad managed to solve their questions at this time or just drink coffee together.

I like this "movement" and I know that it is she who gives strength and energizes the battery every day.

Do not "pull" everything on yourself

I know for sure that many mothers live by the principle: I can do everything myself! The person who went through this tells you: think twice, delegate, do not be afraid to be uncomfortable for others, talk to loved ones about your difficulties and ask for their help. Believe me, if you keep silent about conflicts for a long time, try to look positive, being under stress due to the accumulated affairs, this will not end well for your family in the first place.

Prioritize clearly

A classic story: family comes first, everything else comes after. Working mothers, tell me, in how many cases out of a hundred do this scheme work for you? Have you ever been late at work, realizing that there is chaos at home? Did you refuse sick leave, trying to work with a child in your arms remotely? Have you lashed out at loved ones, feeling stressed and worried about work issues? In my case: three out of three! All these situations are about unwillingness to seem uncomfortable, about impostor syndrome and about the lack of clear guidelines in your life. If you are honest with your boss, feel free to voice your demands for the job, and appear as a valuable specialist in his or her eyes, your life will be less stressful and more efficient.

Forget the guilt

It's incredibly difficult to do, but if you let go of the situation and finally understand that life is one and you live it the way you want, the overall picture becomes much more enjoyable. The child needs a mother, but it will be good for him with a calm, self-confident, self-sufficient mother who will not break down on him over trifles and will give high-quality communication and a feeling of complete security.

Make friends with your children and involve them in your affairs

I have a daughter, and I think this is the best gift of fate. It's incredibly great to cook with her, buy groceries, we also go to the hairdresser together, replacing each other in an armchair. From the reaction, I see that she is also interested when they listen to her opinion, rely on her and ask for advice. For us, this is primarily about high-quality communication, and solving routine tasks is already a nice bonus.

Keep your home clean

Life in a routine “sucks in”, and the more you “hammer” on yourself and the situation in the house, the less you want to do and the worse the mood in general. Therefore, a clean apartment, beautiful dishes and table setting, neat home clothes are not about “I have to”, but about “I can and I want to”! If you understand that you cannot maintain this order yourself, do not be afraid to delegate this work to other people.

How to raise children without raising them - in our guest author's column "How to Raise Children and Raise them Happy"