Hacker mother Alexandra Smirnova told that it is unacceptable for her in raising little Mira and what principles she adheres to.
Offer, not compel
“Don't go, don't run, don't climb” is not our story. I adhere to the Montessori system. Do you want a book? Take it! Do you want to draw? Draw! My job is to offer something to do and to direct the game in the right direction, not to force my daughter to do something.
For a long time I thought that such an approach could make a child spoiled. But why does the baby need something? Why is he obliged to do something that does not interest him? I am for independence and the ability to make decisions myself.
The child grows, develops and every day learns something new: tying shoelaces, making the bed, cleaning the dishes. Yes, I'll do it myself faster. Yes, the daughter will not wash the dishes normally, but only "carry" the dirt. But if you do not encourage initiative, you can completely hack to death the desire to do something yourself.
Mom and Dad should be at the same time
This is the main rule in our family. If mom doesn't allow something, then dad will do the same and vice versa.
When in a family one of the parents plays the role of a “good” policeman, and someone else is a “bad”, the child calculates this very quickly.
Mom didn’t give you candy? Daddy will! This is how children grow up who have no idea about the boundaries of what is permitted and have no authority.
Bring what you started to the end
If I limit my daughter in some way, we do not change our decision and go to the end. Otherwise, the word simply loses its power and becomes an empty sound. Turning off cartoons, turn off. No "5 more minutes". When a child understands what can and cannot be done, realizes that pranks lead to negative consequences, he develops motivation and understanding why he needs it.
Observe the regime
Sleep, food, exercise, hygiene - everything has its time. I am sure that children will be more comfortable with the rules. We try not to break the regime on weekdays and weekends.