Beautyhack columnist Dalia Genbor sent an email in 1997 explaining why 30+ is the best time.
When I was little, this kind of entertainment was very popular with us: writing letters to myself in the future. The letter was carefully sealed in an envelope on which "Open in such and such year" was written in clumsy handwriting. Then the envelope had to be hidden in a safe place. I wrote about ten letters and hid them so securely that I still haven't found a single one. I wonder what I wrote to myself as an adult? How did I imagine myself today? I'm afraid I won't know the answer to this question. But if the post suddenly learned to overcome not only space, but also time, I know exactly what I would have written in a letter that would have flown away from 2017 to 1997.
You won't believe it, but you yourself are writing this to you.
I'll start with the main thing: everything will be fine. But to make it really good, please read this letter carefully.
You're beautiful. You haven't been told this yet, but believe me: it is. You have a great figure, long legs, gorgeous hair, bright eyes and a charming smile. Yes, boys "in fashion" have much more appetizing forms, and you worry that there is really nothing to wear a bra, and dresses and other "girlish" clothes are hanging on you like a sack. I have great news for you: soon all these dresses will go out of fashion, and everyone will walk in sneakers and oversized sweaters, as you like. It will be called the buzzword "oversized" and announced as the biggest fashion trend of the new millennium. And your figure will be considered the standard: small chest, narrow hips. And your breasts will not sag after giving birth. Profit.
Your dad really doesn't love you, but it's not your fault. He does not love anyone, he basically does not know how to love people, and this is neither your fault nor anyone else's. He "loves" functions in people: good studies, a prestigious position, high salaries, a scientific degree. He has a set of criteria for a “successful”, “accomplished”, “achieved success” person, and he measures everyone with them, because he himself is deeply unhappy, since he did not reach the level set by him. I know how painful and upsetting you are, but don't waste time on these experiences. No one has ever received praise, appreciation, or admiration. Do not mind it. You will always be not good enough for him, but many people will appreciate you for who you are.
Mom will be your reliable support while you need her.
Now you think that she does not understand you, and you hide from her 90% of what is happening in your life, because you think that it is calmer that way. You are partly right (especially with regard to leisure, well, you understand what I mean), but then you will be convinced: mom could be trusted even more.
And you will understand this pretty soon, when you suspect that you are pregnant (but it turns out that no, do not strain). Mom takes you to a doctor who will give you a lecture on contraception, and I beg you, listen carefully. And never neglect her. Yes, you may be lucky, but you will save a lot of nerves if you remember that a girl who is unmarried and unwilling to have children simply cannot have sex without a condom.
In a year you will think about whether you need to enter the legal department if you have a journalism department. There is such a thing … In journalism, you will be generally successful. But at the age of 30 you find out that the girl with whom you were going to enter the Moscow State Law Academy together receives 15,000 euros a month. A month, my dear. Think about it.
Now about the achievements. Now you are sure that you have to work hard, hard, hard to raise the standard of living, and then rest on your laurels. Alas, I will have to disappoint you. You will have to study and work for the rest of your life, because soon the situation around will begin to change at such a speed that you cannot even imagine. The Internet, about which you have heard something out of the way, will become publicly available and, in fact, the only global means of communication, information search, development and entertainment. Hmm, go back to the legal paragraph and replace it with information technology. You have no idea how much a smart programmer can earn, but you are smart.
Your relationship with your classmates isn't working out and you're lonely. You think that this is the biggest problem in the world, and you are ready to do anything to be accepted by society.
Do not! Don't break yourself! You just ended up in the wrong team, it's not you.
You will meet a real friend in 3 years, and she will be with you for many years, you will never quarrel and you will be very close. Now you are lonely, but soon you will have many friends and acquaintances, and (you will not believe) you will even start to get tired of communication, spend a few days alone and appreciate what a thrill it is. Don't argue, I know better.
You worry that K. is not paying attention to you at all. Honey, it's all for the best. In a year you will meet your true first love and experience many moments that you will remember fondly all your life. And K. will become a drug addict and end up very badly. By the way, stop looking at the "bad guys" anyway. It now seems to you that love = suffering, ah, we cannot be together and other resistances of the whole world to your happiness. No. Love is simple, easy and unobstructed. Love is when everything develops, when both have time for each other, when you want to hug the whole world, and he is ready to hug you in return. This is Love. And what you are doing now is masochism, and give it up.
Forget the phrase "what will they think of me." Nobody cares about you, to be honest. Everyone cares only about themselves. Even if someone looked at you critically or said something about your appearance, behavior or intentions, believe me, after 5 minutes he forgot about you. Only you yourself decide how you want to look and act, within the law, of course. Stop thinking about the thoughts (what is the passage) of other people. In the end, let them think. What do you want.
Don't quit fitness. Now you go there more for fun and "killing time", but soon your metabolism will change, and you will not be able to eat 10 grandma's pies for lunch with impunity without consequences for your figure. Please go to the hall. After 20 years, you won't have to lose 10 extra pounds.
Rely only on yourself. Remember that in reality only you are your own support. Something can happen to any person in your life, he can disappear, leave you, behave like a bestial, deceive, betray. There are more good people than bad people, but life is difficult. Never give the reins of your life to someone else's hands. Especially for someone who wants to take you "under the wing" and "decide everything for himself." The stone wall is a myth, dear, it is slavery. You will be convinced of the charm of the golden cage more than once. Once you give up. And you will regret it bitterly. If you can, run as soon as you hear something about "non-feminine business", "man's world" and "why do you need (whatever)." Only you are responsible for yourself, only you decide.
Your intuition is incredibly developed, and you stifle it with the arguments of reason. So, so to speak, from the height of the past years, I will tell you: everything that seems to you does not seem to you. Trust your feelings, trust your feelings. You will avoid many problems.
Are you tired? I'll finish soon.
Achievements are not always directly proportional to the effort expended.
Don't delay getting a driver's license.
Don't go to prom, everyone will get drunk, half will vomit, the rest will quarrel, and they won't be released from the boat until 6 in the morning.
Move out of the house as soon as possible. The sooner you start an independent life, the faster you will get used to it.
Never run out of personal income.
Learn a second language not anyhow, but seriously.
30+ is not old age, but the best time (however, I haven't been in the 40+ category yet, maybe it's even cooler there).
And don't be afraid of anything. You will succeed. Right now, you are sitting on a bench, squinting under the summer sun, absolutely happy. This day will surely come, there are only 20 years left.
Yes, I almost forgot. Never go on vacation to hotels with window air conditioning. You will regret.
Author: Dalia Genbor