The second part of "Maleficent" came out on the screens, and this is the first full-fledged role of Angelina Jolie for a long time - for the last four years she has been filming some projects as a director. The actress generally seemed to come to life: she stopped wearing exclusively black, looking emaciated. And all this happened after their marriage to Brad Pitt finally officially ended. Finally - because the whole world watched this death throes for a long time. It was obvious that a disaster had happened in the couple's relationship, but for some reason Jolie was not ready to put an end to it.
We asked the psychologist Elena Sadykova, using this story as an example, to explain what makes women endure relationships in which they are unhappy.
Elena Sadykova
Practicing psychologist
- It seems that leaving your husband when you have six children is unrealistic. Eleven years together! Moreover, if he is rich. Especially if he's Brad Pitt. But she left. Because relationships can fail, even if you are Angelina Jolie (who else thinks that problems in your personal life are related to your appearance, stop immediately). And even if you are Angelina Jolie, it still hurts to part. The experience of divorce is a serious stress, it can only be compared with grieving for a deceased loved one, confirmed by research.
The actress admitted that the last three years were not easy for her: "I had to rediscover happiness for myself." And it looks like she succeeded. At the premiere of the film "Maleficent: Lady of Darkness" 44-year-old Jolie came noticeably refreshed. Instead of nervous cheekbones - a healthy blush, the prickly gaze of the Amazon was replaced by pacification in her eyes. Even the actress gave up her favorite black color in her wardrobe in favor of light shades. Came out of depression, blossomed! But the public is still at a loss: why was there a divorce, and even suffer later? All the components of a successful marriage are obvious: no betrayal was recorded, six children, live and live, dividends on the project "The most beautiful couple of the planet to earn money." Jolie did not voice an intelligible reason for divorce (such, obvious, when it was definitely without options). Well Brad admitted,that he drank - but did not seem to be rowdy, the guy is socialized. He slapped his son once. It happens. And in an interview, Angelina generally repeats the strange: "I lost myself when my relationship with Brad was coming to an end."
In general, in our culture, for such frivolous reasons, divorce is rare. You need to beat until you lose your pulse, for example. Or he didn't bring any money at all. And leave when you can still endure …
Let's figure out why we endure and drag on ourselves a marriage, even when we feel that love has faded and the connection is more likely to corrode from the inside than to nourish and strengthen.
Fears
The first and foremost: “Being alone is unbearably bad” (from the creators of “Who needs me at 40” and “I can't live without him”). Almost all women are sure that when ending a relationship, others must immediately start. Right tomorrow. The option to be alone and not feel flawed is swept aside immediately. I, if anything, am not campaigning for a divorce. But the realization that without this man you COULD easily, and with him only because you WANT so, fills you with a feeling of freedom, relieves anxiety. Even wrinkles are immediately smoothed out. And one more fear that makes you pull the strap of a hateful marriage: "Everyone around will know that I have lost." Accept the fact that happened, admit defeat in this game - this, by the way, is the first point on which women experiencing divorce work with a psychologist. It hurts, but you can live with it. Angelina Jolie is living evidence of this. It's just that one day she was able to make an adult choice: to serve the image of an ideal marriage in the face of the public (and suffer from the fact that your needs are not being met) or to take the thorny path of sincerity and part with her husband. And still suffer, yes. In psychology, this is called the "work of grief," a painful and long process. But there is good news: this suffering usually has an end, it is difficult to stay in it forever. Time will pass, and here she is, the main character of your film, smiling in a beautiful dress and speaking in the voice of Angelina Jolie: “It was a great experience. The renewal through which you come to joy. "And still suffer, yes. In psychology, this is called the "work of grief," a painful and long process. But there is good news: this suffering usually has an end, it is difficult to stay in it forever. Time will pass, and here she is, the main character of your film, smiling in a beautiful dress and speaking in the voice of Angelina Jolie: “It was a great experience. The renewal through which you come to joy. "And still suffer, yes. In psychology, this is called the "work of grief," a painful and long process. But the good news is that this suffering usually has an end, and it's hard to stay in it forever. Time will pass, and here she is, the main character of your film, smiling in a beautiful dress and speaking in the voice of Angelina Jolie: “It was a great experience. The renewal through which you come to joy."
