2023 Author: Jessica James | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-08-03 16:09
BeautyHack columnist Tatyana Yakimova talks about the destructive power of body negative.
A young cheerful friend came to me, it seemed like just to see … And suddenly she confessed that she hated her own body. Because - flabby, And there is no need to talk about the body-positive - she is disgusted to look at all these fat shoes, who have covered their sausage legs with skinny jeans. Although Ashley Graham is nothing, she has long legs and a waist. And all the rest are horror.
Slowly and affectionately I ask questions and find out: when she lies on her side at night, she feels how a nasty disgusting tummy forms a fold, like a huge piece of dough. And she touches that fold and gasps with real hatred.
Although I am a complete optimist, I understand: love is so difficult.
But to hate?
I have a phobia. I am afraid of the word hate. You could say I almost hate him. It is a destructive feeling that reflects disgust and intense hostility. When I was in school, I hated the maniac Chikatilo. At the age of 20 - the sectarians who killed the actor Talgat Nigmatullin. She even wrote a letter to the newspaper that they should be shot.
Then this word left my life. It's too strong. I still shudder when someone says that they hate winter, or traffic jams, or when a lukewarm soup is brought in in a restaurant.
But your own body? It's like hating life.
Let's take a body positive. Fashionable direction. Its meaning is close to me: with any physique, love yourself. But loving and accepting yourself full, short-legged or without a waist is one thing. And to demonstrate a blurred body, showing with all its appearance that you do not care - this is already different. A certain physique can be inherited, like a long nose, and you either accept it or try to change it.
For example, I have "positive eyelashes". Of all the people I know, my lashes are the thinnest and shortest. Plus the light ones.
Even my dogs are longer.
How has this affected my life? No way. Neither negatively nor positively (although it would be funny if it had a positive impact).
Although at the age of 17, when I remembered that I had no eyelashes, then the expression on my face became nothing. And it probably had a negative effect on my appearance.
Already in my age, I twice extended my eyelashes and once even curled, but in the end I relaxed. I paint with indelible paint so that the eye contour is dark, that's all. I raise my eyes with a pencil in front of a magnifying mirror, there are very few eyelashes in it.
But that's because it's positive.
There is no positive - not love. Only the absence of love does not mean hate. It means approaching love, waiting for love, trying.
Therefore, I have one question for my friend: Why don't you want to somehow change this?
In response - five hundred "because".
Okay, not five hundred, but actually seven. One is better than the other.
Because there is no time.
Because laziness was born before us.
Because he knows EXACTLY what is useless.
Because he doesn't know how to start.
Because nobody loves her anyway
Because somehow it doesn't work, it stops something.
Because I do not know.
(And where is that "something" that would stop her from hating her own body?)
Body-positive is not a mask, not a slogan and not hypocrisy in the spirit of "Why do I need a man - I love loneliness", and then - bam! - stole the husband of a friend. Body positivity is a position, and if it is not close to you, then fight.
Not for beauty and thinness, not for standards - for the absence of hatred.
Declare war, not on the body, but on laziness, which "was born before us."
And your own inaction.
Don't lie to yourself about "once".
Forget the word "useless".
Twist the hula-hoop - the waist appears.
Do squats - abs will appear, and your hips will be strengthened.
Fill the refrigerator with metabolic-accelerating foods.
Run, jump, walk fast, dance.
Talk to him. Say: body, dear, you are mine, the only one. Let's be friends, improve. Let's work a little so that everything is ok.
Your body is not a husband who beats you, and not your parents are monsters, you cannot leave him, you have to live with him and negotiate with him, for that matter.
And this is one of the most important things in life - to be in tune with your own body.
And just to lose weight, I advise only those who want a new wardrobe, but there is no money. What? Rather than suffer or go into debt, try losing a few pounds. The clothes will immediately fit differently. As good as new.
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